I just had to share this. If you think that being bombarded with diet adverts (my favourite has to be Special K – crisps that love you back) is bad enough, you might be wondering what they are going to think up next to get us fat birds to lose some weight?
How would you like to be able to eat anything you wanted….but have a valve attached to your abdominal wall that pumps it all out once you’ve eaten it?
The man who brought us the Segway, and who should quite blatantly have stopped right there, has applied for a patent for a weight loss machine that morbidly obese people can have installed instead of needing a gastric bypass. This wonderful invention lets you eat absolutely anything just as long as you pump it right back out! The report was in The Independent, just in case you think I must be making that up. Nope, it’s not even close to April 1st.
Dean Kamen, not content with inventing daft ways to get around on two wheels, is working with a team from Aspire Bariatrics in America to get this delightful piece of equipment working. Apparently, there have been a few problems so far; the pump isn’t that strong and so it has a hard time breaking up large foods. One patient reported “clogging” and had to avoid a long list of foods so that their valve didn’t get bunged up – including cauliflower, broccoli, pretzels, chips and steak. Which does rather beg the question “Did your mother not tell you that you have to chew your food before you swallow it?”
Would you REALLY want to have to empty out your dinner after you’ve eaten it? Is anyone really going to be that desperate?