My Diet Head is Hurty


I’ve started this post so many times now that sod it, I’m just going to write it as it comes and see what happens. Honesty and all that..

My diet head is screaming at me right now. All day yesterday it was telling me I was a fat cow and should go on a diet. I even had the old Slimming World recipe books out. My clothes are getting tight, the walking routine has been filed under ‘when I get around to it’ and the chances that I’ll do the marathon in September are remote because my walking buddy has dropped out and you know what else? I can’t be arsed to think about it. Or getting there. Or training. Or booking a hotel for the night.

Thank the Lord for leggings at the moment. For weeks I’ve been telling myself I should look after my body, I have to stay strong and not get poorly. People need me. But then I get home, stuff down entire bars of Dairy Milk with jelly beans in and knock back Pinot Grigio. Then I get horrible IBS and reflux and kick myself for doing it, but it’s like I don’t really care.

That’s why I’ve been offline with the fat girl blog. I haven’t been in the mood for it, I’ve not been feeling positive and I haven’t had time. This weekend has been the first one in as long as I can remember that I haven’t been in Ipswich for at least part of it, seeing my dad in hospital or at home. I feel as if I want to be around my family all the time but I also want to be with Moley, who’s being a complete and utter star and so, so supportive when I’m being a bitch, eating like a pig, or can’t be arsed to cook tea yet again.

Still, I have to get my head back on straight and I’m going to use this weekend to do it. I’m studying books on Emotional Freedom Technique, and I’ve been having sessions with Cara Wilde who has succeeded in breaking my addiction to Marmite crisps! I’m coming to a lot of conclusions about myself – one of the reasons I hate doing any kind of fitness or healthy eating routine is that I bloody hate being told what to do. I always know better! Oops. That’s why I really am better off self-employed.

There are some great EFT resources if you fancy trying it, I’m reading EFT for Weight Loss at the moment and there are a lot of helpful videos, plus Cara’s own page has some good links. I want to do some of the work in the book on cravings and reasons for overeating, but guess what…until now I haven’t had the time!

I’m trying to ignore the snarky ‘fat cow’ voice in my head, although as I dive head first into a bag of Kettle Chips that’s proving difficult. But I need to stay on top of things. I need to be positive and I owe it to myself, and everyone in my family, to make every day count. I guess the thought of losing someone dear to you makes you realise that….

I’ll be back when I can with another update and more of the life story…



Filed under Food and diets, General

6 responses to “My Diet Head is Hurty

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. Please go easy on yourself.

    Thanks for being so open and honest. I added the EFT book to my wishlist. I first learned about EFT when I used to go to a Hypnotist. I would like to learn more about it. I recommend Hypnotherapy mp3’s for keeping on track with weight loss goals. I switch up my goals from time to time also. Right now I make sure I eat either fresh fruit or veggies with every meal or snack.

  2. I love your honesty! I’ve seriously messed up my diet these last few months, too, after a breakup and moving out. Sometimes shit happens, and sometimes there are valuable lessons to be learned underneath it all. Don’t be hard on yourself! 🙂

  3. Wishing you peace in the midst of your fathers transition. I have had a lot of help from EFT for dealing with difficult feelings. I am currently working on staying in touch with feelings of Self-Love….for me personally and for my body. As I practice my own self-acceptance, I will be sending you good vibes for the journey you are on. Peace and love to you!

  4. This honest blog post is so touching. And we have all been there – although for me it is not dieting – it is a place we all knew. Sometimes we fall back to our old habits and then we don´t nourish ourselves. I love Niennas comment. Shit happens and then we lose our focus, we cope like we ever coped with problems. That´s totally human. But you are doing great. The key is, coming back on path without beating yourself up or feeling like “you need to”. I know this “but you need to” voice – it is the guarantee that I won´t do it or will do it in a way that won´t help. Then to say myself “see, I tried – I knew that it wouldn´t work – I can´t do this….”
    I just blogged about my way getting out of this spiral. And I am talking about this on my free webinar, too.
    But in short: To overcome the “i need to” and got nevertheless back on the track, one trick is to remember how good it feels when you do it. That you do it because you love it and you love yourself. And that´s where the heart comes in…

    I didn´t write about your father, because I lack words, I offer a hug.

  5. First of all, I’m so sorry about your father. I have said good-bye to both my parents. I know how difficult it was for me, so I can imagine what it must be like for you. I’m sending you — and your family — love and peace. And a BIG HUG!

    As to your Diet Head, I know that place well, too. I’ve been eating like food is about to go out of style — all because I’ve been thinking about making some changes in my diet and lifestyle. It really is hell, isn’t it? I know that I need to take better care of myself — and I know how to do it — but it still isn’t easy. My current plan includes easing into things with a smoothie for breakfast, an afternoon walk, and then time for some mental work.

    Thanks for the suggestion of EFT. I’m newly certified at the algorithm level in TFT (Thought Field Therapy), which is the precursor to EFT. I’m hoping that it will help me let go of the reasons I eat and improve my mental attitude around taking care of myself.

    Good luck to you, my dear! I wish you well.

  6. Oh sweetie. I am sending you a huge virtual squishy hug! Losing people you love puts everything else in sharp focus – I go all ‘life’s too short’ and ‘the stuff that normally bothers me doesn’t matter a bit’. Tough times send us back to our comfort place, and it takes strength and awareness to return to newer ‘better’ habits. There also might be something in the air – I chomped my way through a box of Paprika Pringles and orange matchmakers last night. Oopsie. What I love about EFT is that it starts with “even though I did this thing I’m beating myself up for I love and accept myself anyway” – I think that’s the most important EFT statement, and that alone helps heal some of the negative messages we give ourselves normally. Sending love and light to you and your family darling. ❤ ❤ ❤ xxx

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