…but it’s SO worth it.
I’ve made it a bit of a mission of mine over the last six or seven years to become a positive person. Sometimes this annoys other people, but I don’t actually care.
I invented Relentlessly Positive. I started surrounding myself with positive people, some of whom have totally changed my world and my life in ways they would never have believed possible.
I wanted my own freelance writing business. I talked about it for ages, I knew I could do it but I didn’t have the money to get things started. Wouldn’t you know it, I got made redundant and got a pay off to help me set it up. Plus six months with no actual job to do but a salary coming in, and an internet connection on my work computer which meant I could research freelance copy writing jobs all day and get paid for it. Fan-bloody-tastic!
I wanted to write a book and fate, luck, Kismet, God whatever all got together and conspired that I had an idea for a story at the same time SASSY Books were taking on new authors, and I got a contract, just like that.
A few months ago, I started talking about wanting a magazine. I wanted to drop the Inspired Magazine work as it was causing me a pain in the butt, and I really REALLY wanted to edit a magazine that was positive, included plus size women, was intelligent and fun. Looks like I’ve got that coming to me too, and coincidentally only because of someone I met way back in 2006 when I started getting positive!
I do genuinely believe I’m lucky. I also believe that you’re only lucky as you think you are, which tends to get people who think they are UN -lucky really pissed off. In the last few weeks I’ve had the news that my dad is terminally ill and been told I probably won’t have children. I can’t pretend I haven’t cried myself hoarse and drunk way too much wine, eaten my bodyweight in chocolate and more. I’ve been very upset, and had days where I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. Both of those things are pretty life-changing and hard to deal with. But I’m only human. When I’m having a good day, I think myself blessed to have had such a wonderful dad for as long as I have. That I can go and see him and have a laugh at the moment. That he knows I love him, and I won’t have any regrets when the time comes. I escaped my ex-husband, who made it hard for me to see my family, and I’ve been closer to my parents than ever for the last five years. THAT’S lucky.
I’m in denial about kids. Yeah I’m 42, and I’m a chubby. But according to the experts the major problem is my age. Sod that, I’m going to keep practising and prove them wrong. If there’s no actual reason, why not? I have to stay positive about it. I’m lucky as there’s no real reason why I can’t have what I want. If it doesn’t happen – well I’ll be sad, and have to go for Plan B. I just haven’t got that far yet.
Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms
People don’t always like it when you’re positive because it makes them feel as if you’re judging them, when you’re not. It’s a pain when people think you’re talking shit, saying that things will get better. But G-friends you HAVE to believe it. All the times I told myself I was going to get more work in and it would be OK back in 2009, I did. It might not have been much, I don’t think I have the whole ‘ask and you will receive’ thing perfected yet, or I would have asked for more. but I scraped through. My Mum is a Christian and she believes in prayer. I think it’s pretty much the same thing. She also kept telling me things would be OK, and they always were.
The times when I didn’t really believe it, I didn’t get what I wanted. I thought I wanted a man, for a long time, but in all honesty I only really wanted one I couldn’t have, and so nothing happened. When I made peace with that, wrote down exactly what I wanted, decided to trust that it would happen and leave it to fate…guess what? He appeared. And I’m still with him now. But all the time I was bawling my eyes out to my mates that I’d never find a man and the one I wanted didn’t want me, and life was a bitch…well, you guessed it. I stayed stuck in the same old same old.
So, I guess what I’m saying – being positive isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s REALLY freaking hard. Shit happens. Life throws curve balls your way and people can be mean. It’s not all glitter balls and cupcakes. But nothing worth working for is easy. So if you’re having a run of bad luck, cry, scream, shout, blame karma, do whatever feels right. But then try something different, just for me?
Try finding ONE good thing to concentrate on. It doesn’t have to be about the situation that’s had you hitting the vino. It can be anything. You’ve been dumped? Well, without him, you might not have gone on that holiday last year and seen that place with the amazing sunset. Lost your job? You wanted to do something different anyway, and while you were there you got sent on a training course that will make getting a job in the area you really want MUCH easier. Your overdraft has been called in? Oh crap, there’s nothing positive about that. OK, so if you hadn’t had it in the first place you wouldn’t have those amazing shoes. Get the shoes out. Wear them and give the bank manager a one finger salute from the bottom of your heart.
The more you try and think about the good stuff, the more good stuff happens. I don’t know why. Some people try and explain it with energy, vibrations, physics, spirituality. All I know is that it really DOES work. I was told ten years ago that I’d probably never be able to work full time again because I had a nasty type of RSI that made my hands hurt, a lot. BUGGER that. I threw everything at it, I tried splints, drugs, osteopathy, Reiki, and positive thinking. Something worked because here I am. If I’d believed the consultant when she gave me that serious face and bad news, I wouldn’t have tried any of the above and I might never have got back to work. They would have signed me off permanently instead of promoting me and I wouldn’t have been there in 2007 when the redundancies were handed out.
So you see what I mean? What I DID made the difference but if I’d been a negative person I wouldn’t have tried any of it and their prediction would have been right. The actions made the difference but without the positive thoughts there wouldn’t have been any actions.
Don’t give up. Promise me….