I lost my main source of income. With zero warning and as from this week.
There were tears, there were swear words. What do you do when someone you’ve worked for three years just decides they don’t need your services any more, and you weren’t expecting it? Well, when you’re freelance, there’s very little you CAN do.
Friday was not a good day.
But Saturday I pulled myself together and I got planning. I thought, “What have I got that people would pay for?”
So I’m writing another book. More about that later. I spent all day yesterday charging myself up mentally for the task ahead. Making money. LOTS of it, if possible.
Today I got this.
“I have two stories to tell you today – and the four little words that can change it all for you.
1. I was studying at university + working full time.
I’d taken up forensic science thinking I’d find it interesting. And I didn’t. I just didn’t. Along with studying economics and working as editor of business.gov.au, something had to give.
What gave was forensic science. I didn’t study. I didn’t listen. I switched off. I got to the end of the course just barely scraping by when a mountain loomed in front of me:
A 3000 word essay on mitochondrial DNA and the latest developments within forensic science for mtDNA applications.
To say I had a perpetual look of WTF is an understatement. But it needed to be done. I just needed that damn credit so I could get back on to my right path + make art + learn what I really wanted to learn. So I sat down for a weekend, armed only with a bottle of bee pollen (my latest superfood obsession) and my chant:
“I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT.”
I was my very own cheerleader through those 3000 words + endless references of words I didn’t understand. The only time I faltered was when my inner chant ceased and began to say “Oh FUC* I really don’t know if I can!!!!!”
I realised in those moments that the chant in my mind was the one that would make all the difference. I could live in fear + paralysis.
Or I could surge forth, powered only by self-belief, an open mind + eagerness (and that bee pollen).
I CAN DO IT. And so I could. A credit later, I was on my way – out of forensic science + into the next right thing.
2. 18 months ago, I had a vision as I fell asleep. A vision of my much beloved COO/right hand girl/long term VA Marissa sitting in the same room as me. Now the thing you have to know about that is this – Marissa and I had never met at that point. She lives in the US. I live in Australia. It’s a bloody long way.
And in my mind, I immediately thought “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! DON’T EVEN DREAM IT LEONIE!” But I did keep dreaming. And I thought how wonderful it would be for our energies to align in the same direction, and fill out our yearly Incredible Year workbook together for the business + brainstorm a plenty.
And it felt so good.
And instead of listening to that part of me that said “NO! NOT POSSIBLE! NOT DOABLE! NO!”
I thought… “What if… what if I could? What if we did? What would we need to make happen for it to be so?” By morning, I knew the answer. The answer was of course, I CAN DO IT. I can make this happen. I can birth this miracle into the world.
I did. And it was stupendous and perfect and a massive leap of faith. Marissa has been here twice since that fateful night. We have both been deeply changed on a soul level from it, and it has been the perfect thing for my business to grow and bloom. “
Four little words that change it all – I CAN DO IT.
Those wise words come from Leonie, my go-to guru girl who seems to send me emails like that whenever I need them, even if she’s in Australia and we’ve never ever met. She’s so inspiring, she’s going to help me push my business to the next level and with the help of her amazing team, guides and masterminds, I’m going to get there. I so am.
I’m going to make my little book baby #2. And more book babies, e-courses, guides and a bloody brilliant magazine that’s going to make women everywhere feel GOOD about themselves.
If you’re feeling in a bit of a funk, a dose of Leonie magic might be all you need to perk yourself up, get your Goddess girl pants back on and sparkle your way back into awesomeness again.