From my experience, weddings bring out the diet head in most fat women, no matter how hard they try to block it out. It’s a nightmare scenario when you’re trying to avoid diets and weight loss advice; not only do you have to deal with finding the dress, you have the prospect of having pictures taken that you can’t avoid being in, and a room full of relatives who might not have seen you for a long time.
I can honestly say that I don’t know if I gained or lost any weight between getting engaged and getting married. I can say that the dress was the difficult bit. not because I was fretting over my size or anything, but because unless you’re lucky enough to be able to afford someone to make something just for you, you have to negotiate the minefield that is trying to work out whether a fabulous outfit modelled on a size 10 wisp of a thing will look remotely like that when you order it online. Of course, there are plus size wedding shops; Simply Be does a plus size range but they are all white and if you’ve read Gorgeously Full Fat the book, you’ll know a white dress probably isn’t appropriate!
There are also wedding dress shops, and wedding dressmakers, queuing up to make that perfect gown. They are very expensive though, and they class anything over a size 14 as plus-size (or at least they used to) so again, you’re stuck with the dilemma of trying to work out how a dress displayed in a small size will look on an ample bride.
What did I do? I went online and bought an ‘occasion’ dress off the peg instead. It was lovely on, and I could send it back it if had turned out to be too big – a luxury I didn’t have with the dresses ordered online and made to measure. Thankfully, mine fitted.
I was, I’ll admit, tempted by the diet on a few occasions last year. I put on weight when I was mainlining Cadburys chocolate when dad was in hospital, and it took me a while to rein myself back in and stop overeating junk food when I couldn’t be arsed to cook, and drinking wine till my head buzzed. I stopped, but I knew I was a bit bigger. I opted to walk a bit more and swim a bit, but even the I somehow resisted the diet.
Anyway, I put thoughts about photographs to the back of my mind, and showed up with a very big smile on my face on Friday 3rd January. And you know what? The dress looked lovely. I had the best time ever. I played up to the camera, grinning like a loon and hugging Moley, and I didn’t give a stuff about how I looked on camera. The only comments I’ve had about how I looked are “You looked so happy.”
So, if you’re a chubby girl (or man) and you’re starting to feel the pull of the diet, don’t believe the hype. You’ll be just as happy if you get hitched JUST AS YOU ARE as you would if you’d starved yourself for months, and what’s more, the time you spend building up to the big day will be full of fun stuff and excitement instead of self-denial and wishing you looked different.
Remember: your beloved wants to marry you as you are, not just a thinner version of you!
Oh and PS: I got my wish; Dad was there to walk me down the aisle …