It’s crazy in my head right now.
I thought it was hard enough with what’s going on with Dad, but I kind of came to terms with that and decided that all the time he’s happy, I will be too.
Then something else happened and it’s put me into a situation where if I want to get what I want, not only do I somehow have to work out a way to get enough money for Moley and I to move into a bigger place, but I also have to lose weight. Probably.
What do I do? Diets DO NOT WORK.
So I’m holding out every hope that the EFT I’m doing will start to sink in and make scarfing down family size packets of Kettle Chips less appealing. I’ve been doing a lot of very personal work with Cara on what it is that makes me overeat, and I’ve even gone right back to when I was bullied at school, a particularly horrible incident that might have made skinny, short arsed 12 year-old Sarah think it wasn’t such a good idea to be smaller than everyone else. Especially when four girls, all bigger than her, decided they were going to gang up on her and challenge her to a fight in the playground.
You want to know the outcome? I hid behind a bush. They found me. I ended up covered in spit. Not very pretty.
I guess I can see why I might have decided that being bigger could be used to my advantage.
Anyway, I have to do something. Because if I don’t my weight might be used against me as a grown up, but in the opposite way. So it’s time I got a proper grip on my overeating, using all the resources I have available to me. Notice I don’t say “I have to lose weight” – that will just trigger me in the opposite direction!
I’d love to get my hula hoop out again and give it a go in the back garden, and wiggle until I can keep the damn thing going more than a minute, but I’m scared people will laugh at me. Dumb, huh? I’m overlooked as I share the back garden with the neighbours, living in a ground floor flat. I could try indoors but there’s not a lot of room. I think the ABBA Wii game might have to come out and the Davina boxing workout can get dusted off. I’m getting the walking shoes back on too. Making fitness fun, that’s the key, right? My Zumba buddy cancelled again tonight, though.
This time next year, I’ll be sorted, no longer an overeater, fit, getting a bigger place and – I’ll tell you all exactly how I do it as I figure it out. Wish me luck…it’s quite a target!