Category Archives: Project Junior

Diet dilemma

 

Work in progress

It’s crazy in my head right now.

I thought it was hard enough with what’s going on with Dad, but I kind of came to terms with that and decided that all the time he’s happy, I will be too.

Then something else happened and it’s put me into a situation where if I want to get what I want, not only do I somehow have to work out a way to get enough money for Moley and I to move into a bigger place, but I also have to lose weight. Probably.

What do I do? Diets DO NOT WORK.

So I’m holding out every hope that the EFT I’m doing will start to sink in and make scarfing down family size packets of Kettle Chips less appealing. I’ve been doing a lot of very personal work with Cara on what it is that makes me overeat, and I’ve even gone right back to when I was bullied at school, a particularly horrible incident that might have made skinny, short arsed 12 year-old Sarah think it wasn’t such a good idea to be smaller than everyone else. Especially when four girls, all bigger than her, decided they were going to gang up on her and challenge her to a fight in the playground.

You want to know the outcome? I hid behind a bush. They found me. I ended up covered in spit. Not very pretty.

I guess I can see why  I might have decided that being bigger could be used to my advantage.

Anyway, I have to do something. Because if I don’t my weight might be used against me as a grown up, but in the opposite way. So it’s time I got a proper grip on my overeating, using all the resources I have available to me. Notice I don’t say “I have to lose weight” – that will just trigger me in the opposite direction!

I’d love to get my hula hoop out again and give it a go in the back garden, and wiggle until I can keep the damn thing going more than a minute, but I’m scared people will laugh at me. Dumb, huh? I’m overlooked as I share the back garden with the neighbours, living in a ground floor flat. I could try indoors but there’s not a lot of room. I think the ABBA Wii game might have to come out and the Davina boxing workout can get dusted off. I’m getting the walking shoes back on too. Making fitness fun, that’s the key, right? My Zumba buddy cancelled again tonight, though.

This time next year, I’ll be sorted, no longer an overeater, fit, getting a bigger place and – I’ll tell you all exactly how I do it as I figure it out. Wish me luck…it’s quite a target!

 

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Filed under Food and diets, Lifestyle, Project Junior

But I don’t WANT to be a size ten!

notaWAR

Look, I have nothing at all against being a size ten. Or an eight. Or a six. And now I realise I sound like a racist who says things like “But some of my best friends are black.”

Honestly though. All I want is to be healthy. And not to be judged and found wanting just because I’m never ever going to fit into a size ten unless I develop the sort of serious illness that makes you lose weight. A lot of it.

When I think about the weight/size I feel happiest, and I try to imagine myself at anything much under a size 14, it somehow feels wrong. I don’t want to be thin. It’s not me, it never has been and it never will be. I don’t recognise myself in those images in my head. If I let myself think about it without the incessant chatter of the media telling me that the words ‘size ten’ are automatically preceded by the word ‘healthy’, I see myself as a well-rounded size 16. Fit, healthy and just a little bit chunky. I don’t have a problem with that!

My ideal size range would be anything from a 14 to an 18. A 14 is quite hard for me to maintain, which is why I haven’t been that size since I was 25. I feel good at 16 and 18, and yeah, being a 20 or 22 (my biggest ever was a 24, and I didn’t feel good at that size, I felt incredibly unhealthy, but I was miserable and on the verge of separating from my ex) doesn’t QUITE feel like me. I’m not unfit, I walked ten miles this morning and I live to tell the tale, but life just feels a bit easier when you can move around a bit faster. That’s how I feel, and there are plenty of people who are 20,22 and bigger and have no problems cycling, running, doing fitness classes and so have no reason to want to get any smaller. So, they should stay where they feel comfortable. Diets suck and they don’t work, no matter how many Weight Watchers sponsored studies try and tell you otherwise.

It wouldn’t be the end of the world to me if I stayed this size forever. I’d prefer not to get any bigger, because it might make my knees hurt. If all this fitness and generally looking after myself does result in weight loss (it’s hopefully, maybe if I’m lucky going to end in pregnancy which is going to make me even heavier – eek) then that’s all well and good, but I’m never dieting again and I genuinely don’t have any desire to be thin.

I read this article by Lionel Shriver today, and it sort of inspired this post. The obsession with our body sizes and what we eat is getting scary. It’s affecting men as well. Reporters commented on every single biscuit Lionel did or didn’t eat while she was being interviewed, in every interview she gave for the book ‘Big Brother’. When ‘Viva Voluptuous’ comes out, if it makes any kind of impression and I get interviewed, I’m going to have to develop a skin like a freaking rhino to not get upset by comments about my weight, size, and eating habits. But I really think the tide is turning.

I couldn’t possibly have written the book the way I have if I didn’t have experience of being fat, trying not to be fat, and the way society treats people who don’t fit their idea of normal. Or beautiful. So I’m saying it right here and right now. I don’t WANT to be a size ten. So bite me.

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Filed under Celebrity, Media, Project Junior, Viva Voluptuous

Introduction

LOGO Gorgeously Full Fat small gifWell, some of you already follow Gorgeously Full Fat on Facebook and Twitter, but if you don’t, I’m Sarah. I’m the wrong side of 15 stone, the wrong side of 40 and definitely the wrong side of my overdraft, but I’m lovely anyway…And that isn’t me on the right, by the way. She’s WAY too glamorous.

I’ve been blogging as ‘Queen Simply Be‘ for over five years now, and wanted to swap the whole thing onto WordPress so that I could do more pretty things with it, but it wouldn’t let me. That’ll be why I’ve spent hours this afternoon trying to make a brand spanking pretty new WordPress blog instead. There has been language, but now it’s up and running and I figured out how to get it to do stuff, all is calm.

I’m also a novelist. My first ever book, ‘Viva Voluptuous’ is due out in 2013 and I hope you’ll love it. It was so much fun writing it. It’s the most amazing feeling to call myself a novelist – at the moment my work of art is just a Word document on my computer, about to go into production and get unleashed onto an unsuspecting public. I’m daydreaming about a media frenzy and a battle over who I give the film rights to, but in all honesty I’ll just be so excited when I see it on the shelf at Waterstones that I don’t care if anyone buys it. Oh, who am I kidding. Go buy it, as soon as it’s out, or I’ll sulk.

I’ve been taking advice from one of my favourite bloggers, the wonderful Lisa Lister, creatrix of Sassyology, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m planning to make this blog REAL. So, when I’m having a wobble, I’m not going to sit here and blog away about how fabulous it is to be chubby, because I’ve been there, I’m here right now, and I know you’d think I was talking from my ample derriere if I pretended it was easy. Being fat isn’t ideal, but you have a choice. You can be fat, miserable, unhealthy and on and off every diet that’s out there…or you can accept that you’re never going to be a Victoria’s Secret model, eat well, do a bit of exercise, love yourself anyway and walk around with a smile on your face.

I’m going for the second option – mostly!

We all need a bit of support – especially when we’re planning a wedding! Even fat girls get married and I’m getting hitched to my Mr Right in very early 2014, so expect some bridezilla-style hissy fits, especially when it comes to the whole dress/photo thing. Eep!

That’s the awkward introduction bit over and done with….

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Filed under Bridezilla, General, Project Junior